I have been doing some thinking about words and their connotations. I've decided that some things just don't make any sense... Like how I am so damn sexy, yet still manage to fly under the radar and live amongst the "normals." But, more on that another day.
Here are some things that confuse me:
Everyone agrees that being a racist is negative, and makes you a jackass (except for those guys I know who had the raccoon in their attic. They don't mind it so much, which makes them jackasses). However, being a feminist is viewed by a large segment of the population as being a positive thing. I don't see it that way though. Most of the hardcore feminists that I know are also jackasses. Mind you, I think women should be paid the same as men, and have the same chance to be President and all, but it really annoys me when chicks think that wearing bras and removing body hair counts as giving into to masculine oppression. The truth is, nobody likes low-hanging boobies and/or pit hair that you can braid. Similarly, being sexist is bad, unless you're only sexist against men, which makes you a feminist, and therefore a progressive visionary. Makes no damn sense to me, kind of like how it doesn't make any sense to me that kamikaze pilots wore helmets. Whatevs.
Tyrannosaurus was a badass dinosaur, that would eat your face because you laughed at its tiny little useless forearms. Brontosaurus was a giant dinosaur with a powerful tail that it used to knock over mean t-rexes who couldn't balance themselves because of their creepy little arms. Yet a Thesaurus is a book. A fucking book. Of words that mean the same thing as other words. The name Thesaurus seems better associated with the biggest, baddest mofo of a dinosaur ever... the "Shaft" of dinosaurs, if you will. But, no. It's just a book. Lame. Lame-o-saurus.
Carl Weathers is an awesome dude, who was in Predator (with two guys who later became governors. Mike Foster, former governor of Louisiana met both of them, but not Carl Weathers... I asked him), played Apollo Creed, and then was Chubbs the golf pro in Happy Gilmore, who taught Reese Witherspoon (Little Nicky's angel mom) that "it's all in the hips." He is awesome. That has nothing to do with anything. I just wanted to say how awesome he is. And say that Stormy Weathers would be a great stripper/porn star name.
Awesome means "inspiring awe", "deserving of awe or reverence", or "freaking cool". Yet, Possum does not mean "inspiring po", "deserving of po", or "not a giant marsupial rodent-thing." But that's the kind of thing that you only start to really wonder about after that first six-pack of the night.
We use the words lawman and policeman interchangeably. Yet we use the word lawyer interchangeably with attorney or leach. Incidentally, leach is also used as a synonym for your mom, because of the amazing amount of sucking that both do. WHAT UP?!? But I digress... Why isn't a lawyer called a lawman? Where does that damn y come from? Also, I didn't mention that those words should be "policeperson" and "lawperson" because I do not classify myself a "feminist." So there.
One who raps is a rapper, while one who rapes is (not a feminist) a rapist. Why isn't it that one who raps is a rap-ist? And one who rapes is a rape-r? It doesn't make any damn sense, in the same way that math and marijuana laws don't make any sense.
Finally, there's this dude I know from work named Jeremy. That's all I have to say about that name... It has nothing to do with any other words or anything. He's just been bummed because I have been lawmaning (not lawyering) instead of blogging. And he should totally have the groomsmen at his wedding wear seersucker. That would be awesome. Not wearing seersucker... Well, that would just be possum.
Here are some things that confuse me:
Everyone agrees that being a racist is negative, and makes you a jackass (except for those guys I know who had the raccoon in their attic. They don't mind it so much, which makes them jackasses). However, being a feminist is viewed by a large segment of the population as being a positive thing. I don't see it that way though. Most of the hardcore feminists that I know are also jackasses. Mind you, I think women should be paid the same as men, and have the same chance to be President and all, but it really annoys me when chicks think that wearing bras and removing body hair counts as giving into to masculine oppression. The truth is, nobody likes low-hanging boobies and/or pit hair that you can braid. Similarly, being sexist is bad, unless you're only sexist against men, which makes you a feminist, and therefore a progressive visionary. Makes no damn sense to me, kind of like how it doesn't make any sense to me that kamikaze pilots wore helmets. Whatevs.
Tyrannosaurus was a badass dinosaur, that would eat your face because you laughed at its tiny little useless forearms. Brontosaurus was a giant dinosaur with a powerful tail that it used to knock over mean t-rexes who couldn't balance themselves because of their creepy little arms. Yet a Thesaurus is a book. A fucking book. Of words that mean the same thing as other words. The name Thesaurus seems better associated with the biggest, baddest mofo of a dinosaur ever... the "Shaft" of dinosaurs, if you will. But, no. It's just a book. Lame. Lame-o-saurus.
Carl Weathers is an awesome dude, who was in Predator (with two guys who later became governors. Mike Foster, former governor of Louisiana met both of them, but not Carl Weathers... I asked him), played Apollo Creed, and then was Chubbs the golf pro in Happy Gilmore, who taught Reese Witherspoon (Little Nicky's angel mom) that "it's all in the hips." He is awesome. That has nothing to do with anything. I just wanted to say how awesome he is. And say that Stormy Weathers would be a great stripper/porn star name.
Awesome means "inspiring awe", "deserving of awe or reverence", or "freaking cool". Yet, Possum does not mean "inspiring po", "deserving of po", or "not a giant marsupial rodent-thing." But that's the kind of thing that you only start to really wonder about after that first six-pack of the night.
We use the words lawman and policeman interchangeably. Yet we use the word lawyer interchangeably with attorney or leach. Incidentally, leach is also used as a synonym for your mom, because of the amazing amount of sucking that both do. WHAT UP?!? But I digress... Why isn't a lawyer called a lawman? Where does that damn y come from? Also, I didn't mention that those words should be "policeperson" and "lawperson" because I do not classify myself a "feminist." So there.
One who raps is a rapper, while one who rapes is (not a feminist) a rapist. Why isn't it that one who raps is a rap-ist? And one who rapes is a rape-r? It doesn't make any damn sense, in the same way that math and marijuana laws don't make any sense.
Finally, there's this dude I know from work named Jeremy. That's all I have to say about that name... It has nothing to do with any other words or anything. He's just been bummed because I have been lawmaning (not lawyering) instead of blogging. And he should totally have the groomsmen at his wedding wear seersucker. That would be awesome. Not wearing seersucker... Well, that would just be possum.
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