Saturday night I went out with three members of my family and a family friend, to celebrate the impending nuptials of one of those family members. I remember going to Pat O'Brien's. I remember ordering and drinking one Purple People Eater. I remember going back to the bar and ordering a second Purple People Eater, and one beer (so that I could nurse it for several hours, because I didn't want to get drunk), and then closing out my tab in a responsible manner. Things get a little bit hazy after that.
Since I don't really know what happened on Saturday night, I don't feel right about just telling the story. I'll put it in quiz form, because that will be more fun!
1) Upon waking up on Sunday morning, which of the following worried me?
A. What is that smell?
B. Why is my pantleg wet?
C. How did I get here, and why am I on the floor?
D. Why am I completely dressed?
E. None of the above
F. All of the above
2) What combination of drinks did I later learn caused all of the trouble?
A. Two Purple People Eaters and one beer
B. Three Purple People Eaters and one beer
C. Three Purple People Eaters, at least one shot, and one beer
D. Three Purple People Eaters, one Hurricane, at least one shot and one beer
3) What song did I aggressively request the piano players perform?
A. "Don't Stop Believin'"
B. "Dixie"
C. "Sweet Caroline"
D. A & B
E. A & C
F. B & C
4) I was responsible about my drink purchasing. Who bought me the drinks that did me in?
A. My aunt
B. Some dude
C. Myself
D. The bartender gave me a freebie
E. Nobody knows
5) What was the reason that so many drinks were purchased?
A. I wanted to get completely hammered
B. My aunt wanted a collection of glasses from Pat O'Brien's
C. It was some kind of a dare
D. Nobody knows
6) On what/in what did I NOT vomit?
A. The car
B. Myself
C. A plastic bag
D. The toilet
7) I was upset because I thought I lost something. What was it?
A. My debit card
B. My phone
C. My camera
D. My foot
8) Which of the following was my aunt trying to keep me from doing?
A. Puking in the car
B. Drowning in the toilet
C. Cleaning my face with Clorox wipes
D. Drinking
E. All of the above, excluding D
9) Of which of the following do I have a vague memory?
A. Throwing up in a platic bag
B. Taking a nap outside
C. Taking almost 200 pictures
D. Putting my feet on the table at Pat O'Brien's
E. Drinking more than the drinks that I responsibly purchased
F. Leaving, getting in the house, or anything that followed after that
10) What did I do with the clean t-shirt that my aunt gave me?
A. I threw up on it
B. I put it in the toilet
C. I used it as a pillow
Since I don't really know what happened on Saturday night, I don't feel right about just telling the story. I'll put it in quiz form, because that will be more fun!
1) Upon waking up on Sunday morning, which of the following worried me?
A. What is that smell?
B. Why is my pantleg wet?
C. How did I get here, and why am I on the floor?
D. Why am I completely dressed?
E. None of the above
F. All of the above
2) What combination of drinks did I later learn caused all of the trouble?
A. Two Purple People Eaters and one beer
B. Three Purple People Eaters and one beer
C. Three Purple People Eaters, at least one shot, and one beer
D. Three Purple People Eaters, one Hurricane, at least one shot and one beer
3) What song did I aggressively request the piano players perform?
A. "Don't Stop Believin'"
B. "Dixie"
C. "Sweet Caroline"
D. A & B
E. A & C
F. B & C
4) I was responsible about my drink purchasing. Who bought me the drinks that did me in?
A. My aunt
B. Some dude
C. Myself
D. The bartender gave me a freebie
E. Nobody knows
5) What was the reason that so many drinks were purchased?
A. I wanted to get completely hammered
B. My aunt wanted a collection of glasses from Pat O'Brien's
C. It was some kind of a dare
D. Nobody knows
6) On what/in what did I NOT vomit?
A. The car
B. Myself
C. A plastic bag
D. The toilet
7) I was upset because I thought I lost something. What was it?
A. My debit card
B. My phone
C. My camera
D. My foot
8) Which of the following was my aunt trying to keep me from doing?
A. Puking in the car
B. Drowning in the toilet
C. Cleaning my face with Clorox wipes
D. Drinking
E. All of the above, excluding D
9) Of which of the following do I have a vague memory?
A. Throwing up in a platic bag
B. Taking a nap outside
C. Taking almost 200 pictures
D. Putting my feet on the table at Pat O'Brien's
E. Drinking more than the drinks that I responsibly purchased
F. Leaving, getting in the house, or anything that followed after that
10) What did I do with the clean t-shirt that my aunt gave me?
A. I threw up on it
B. I put it in the toilet
C. I used it as a pillow
D. Nobody is sure, but it's missing
Now look at the answers below, and see how you did! BTW, that Oxyclean detergent is amazing at removing purple vomit. BTW again, don't drink anything purple ever.
Answers:
Now look at the answers below, and see how you did! BTW, that Oxyclean detergent is amazing at removing purple vomit. BTW again, don't drink anything purple ever.
Answers:
1) F. BTW, my pantleg was wet because I fell asleep on the wet towel that my aunt gave me to wash my face with. I still don't really know the answer to the other questions;
2) C. I did not personally purchase any of the extra drinks though;
3) D. I don't even remember that they played "Dixie", let alone that I requested it;
4) A. Thanks, Ellen! Although that explains why she was so nice about taking care of drunken Fort Awesome;
5) B. Seriously. I kept my cool little shot glass though. I deserved to ;
6) A. By the hardest, I did not vomit on any part of the car. However, this should give you a clue as to the answer to one of the questions I asked in question 1. Namely, "what's that smell?";
7) D. Don't worry. I found it. Turns out that it was just my shoe that fell off, and not my foot;
8) E. Although the drinking was apparently encouraged and enabled, she thought all of those other things were bad ideas;
9) A. Ah, sweet dignity. How I miss you so;
10) C. And it would have been a much better idea to wear it instead of my pukey shirt.
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